So I think it’s come to this. I need to integrate thoughts on my weight loss with thoughts on my personal life, and not have one overtake the other. I feel like that’s why I shy away from this blog: because it’s single-handedly focused on losing weight, and there are a lot of things that I feel are more important in my life. I’ve created a new blog that hopes to … well, I don’t have any hopes for it as of right now, because it’s brand spankin’ new, but I’m going to be free with what I post in it, and I’m going to post whatever I damn well please … be it weight loss, how tremendous a cupcake tastes, or how I struggle with waking up in the morning. 

As of now — and for the foreseeable future — I’m moving along from lbs. I would understand if you weren’t interested in following me on xiv, because it won’t be primarily health- & fitness-related, but I’m doing it for myself and my own well-being. I appreciate what lbs. helped me accomplish in its early stages, but now I see it as more of a burden than anything. I’m tired of feeling the weight (ha ha) of having people follow me solely for weight loss & healthy living; it’s a lot of pressure, and it’s not necessarily something that I feel like I’m able to live up to. Along those same lines, I don’t necessarily feel at all comfortable with talking about my weight loss on confuoco, my primary tumblr. This is the solution. 

I’m unable to follow anybody on xivxivxiv, because it’s a secondary account; it’s linked to confuoco, though, and I’m very likely to follow you back on that. 

I hope this post finds all of you well, and I hope to see some of you soon. :’)

Tyler

Yesterday, I went grocery shopping, & spent $50. Fifty. Dollars. Like, ahh!!! That’s a lot of money for a girl on a college budget, but I did it, because I needed to. I also threw away (or gave away) everything that I had in my fridge / pantry that wasn’t going to do something for me, either nutritionally or otherwise. Like freezer-burned chicken breasts. Or yogurt that had been in the fridge since February with the poor, naïve hope that one day it might be eaten by yours truly — spoiler alert: it wasn’t. 

So I shopped. I purchased watermelon and applesauce and clif bars and natural peanut butter and noodles and pasta sauce and chips and salsa and apples and almond milk and green tea and spinach and baby carrots.

I’m in a strange transition period right now, I think. I’ve decided that I’m going to attempt preparing my own meals (at least mostly entirely) animal-free. Going out to eat, however, is another matter entirely. I’ll get there when I get there.

So far this morning, I’ve had three watermelon … wedges? and some applesauce. Digging it. 

I hope you’re well!

Do you ever have weeks where you’re on top of everything, and everything’s great, but then you just … well, then you just want to eat everything in the kitchen the next week? UGH because that’s been me. Listen. I know that … well, a whole wealth of you have unfollowed me recently, and I honest-to-god don’t blame you, because you want to read what you want to read, and if you don’t want to read what I have to say, then it’s damn well your own business, not mine, and yeah. I encourage you to unfollow me if you don’t like what I’m doing or gettin’ down to (or, in my case not getting down to. Whatever.) 

I guess this post is kind of pointless, but I wanted to let you know that I’m still here. Just struggling. Not having a change of scenery from school to home isn’t helping matters any — and I suppose I should look at this as an opportunity to develop healthy habits at school, too, but it’s just so much easier for me to be healthy at home. Anyway.

I hope you’re well. I’m here — just struggling. And eating. You know, the usual.

Start Weight: 200
Last Week: 179.4
This Week: 177.0 (-2.4)
Total Loss: 23lbs!

HI! I was 177.2 on Tuesday, so I was hoping for a bit more, but uh. When I’ve stayed up until at least 6am almost every night this week working on projects or studying for exams (also, eating), I think this is truly, truly all right with me.

I hope you’re well!!! :’) 

(or: Some Pretty Fucking Sweet Victories involving Self-Confidence) 

(or: Lessons I have Learned from the Fat Acceptance Community)

• Go out in public wearing shorts. Not bermuda shorts. Shorts. Denim shorts. I noticed today while I was walking to campus that my calves are killing it in the best way possible. They were unexpectedly muscular, and I dig it. I dig it a lot.
• Go out in public wearing strapless things. Like, dresses. Without straps. With my arms and chest out in for everyone to see. Because I want to.
• Not think about things like — Oh, gosh, does this person not want to sit next to me or talk to me because I’m fat? Maybe if I were skinnier… Because fuck that shit! That’s stupid. A body is a body is a body, and all bodies - fat and skinny - are equally valid and equally lovely.

Anyway, I guess the point of this post is to say that self-confidence is much, much more important to me than the number on the scale. I mean, I’m not going to lie to you & say that I won’t be pleased as it gets lower - because I will be - but I refuse to put loving myself on hold until I’m “thin,” and nor should you. You’re just as beautiful now as you will be at a lower weight, and you’re just as fierce, just as fabulous, just as capable of doing exactly what you want.

I think it’s really important to remember that as we go through this journey, y’know? Because I used to forget it, and that led to … well, not good things. 

I HOPE YOU ARE WELL :****

:’)!!!!!!

:*!!!!!!

♥!!!!!!

LOOK AT MY NEW BATHING SUIT!

It’s the first two-piece I’ve ever owned, & I am in love with it. Also, the video sneakily cut out before I intended it to, but I suppose you get the general gist. Also, I’m ridiculous.

I hope your weekends have been swell!!! :*

HEY GUYS GUYS HEY I AM BACK IN THE 170s!!!

Start Weight: 200
Last Week: 180.6
This Week: 179.4 (-1.2)
Total Loss: 20.6lbs!

Okay, okay, okay, so it’s not too much. Uh, at all. But I am really thrilled about it, and there are a lot of factors (i.e. the fact that I’ve been on the rag for the past week, I’ve been doing a lot more muscle-y sorts of things like the 30DS, etc.)

I AM SUPER THRILLED :’)

• I have eaten well ALL WEEK - with the exception of a slice of pizza yesterday, but whatever whatever. Water under the bridge. Thumbs way, way up.
• My Lady Time is lasting longer than normal, so. That’s stupid.
• Still sore from the 30DS. :’)
• This is the worst post ever.
• I hope you’re having a tremendous week!!!

1. Was successfully vegetarian, but not successfully vegan. Dark chocolate chips got in the way. And, um. Cheese on my Eggplant Parmesan. Heh. Not bothered. I ate really well, and that’s what I’m more focused on right now. Baby steps.
2. Started Week 2 of C25K. YOU GUYS I HAVE NEVER GOTTEN THIS FAR, & I HAVE “STARTED” THREE TIMES. AT LEAST. (Week 2, Tyler? Really?! You give up that easily?) Yes! Yes I do! And I am disgustingly proud of myself.
3. Did Day 2 of the 30DS!!!! Smug & self-satisfied all around, that’s me.
4. Drank 80oz of water. Um. Um.
5. Climbed a tree in the name of art. (Not really. Well, sort of. It was for drawing class, and it was super fun.)

Also, I made this really, really delicious Apple Pie-esque dessert, which I am going to share with you, because it was tremendous, excellent, splendiferous, & etc. Here’s what’s in:

• 1 apple - cored, sliced, & peeled (60)
• 2tsp light brown sugar (30)
• However much cinnamon you’re interested in (0)

Stick all of these in a bowl, microwave for 2-3 minutes, & enjoy! (But, um. Don’t burn your tongue like I did. Shit gets hot.)

I HOPE YOU ARE ALL WELL :*****